Are you perhaps exhausted because you are spending so much energy suppressing your power? Your truth? Your light? Your voice?
I noticed this in myself in the last year and a bit – after two years of feeling a lot better I was still holding myself back from receiving the fullness of what I knew was possible.
There’s two levels to this –
1) I have a little boy with very big feelings. I see how his passion and emotion bursts through him. His curiosity for life. I also have a little girl who shuts herself down. I see myself in both of them.
I recognise that passion and vitality that scared others, that activated the parts in them that they had suppressed. Which caused them to subdue me, and how I then learned to suppress my largeness and my longing. My fire and my passion.
Life force is the creative energy/sexual energy that creates life and form on this planet. This is the feminine energy.
But so many of us are disconnected from this energy and, therefore, life force and vitality.
As females our passion and our life force has often been muted because of the indoctrination to be good, demure, sweet girls (the virgin archetype). So if we embrace the passion, longing and raw fullness of life we are seen as the whore. You can’t be the virgin when you’re the whore. And judgement allows no space for anything in between. To be accepted we need to cut ourselves off from the full-bodied flow of life force.
No wonder we’re so tired.
And, yes, this does apply to you no matter what gender you are/identify yourself as. The feminine is even less acceptable in those who are classified as male.
2) Instead I experienced my passion in a disconnected masculine way – I was so very good at excelling and achieving and I threw all my fire into the productivity model. Then it burned me. So I ended up in a wasteland of burned out hopes and a deep fear of stepping more fully into my potential because of the trauma of last time.
However, that was because I only knew one way of channeling that fire and that was the masculine way that seemed to be more acceptable, more valued, more ‘normal’.
When we suppress the feminine and only allow the disconnected unconscious, striving masculine energy we are cut off from receiving the deep, endless, sweet abundance that is available to us all.
There is another way to burn brightly. One that feels deeply forbidden and not ‘normal’ – that holds the threat of being kicked out of the ”tribe”, frowned upon or even persecuted.
It is saying yes to that feminine passion and fire but living in a deeply connected and balanced way. Here you allow the structure, direction and clarity in the form of your own conscious and connected masculine energy to hold and guide the wild, raw feminine energy. This connected, conscious masculine energy is like the river banks which holds the rushing waters and guides her to her waterfall where she experiences the chaotic tumble of transformation before settling into the blissful stillness of the deep pool of tranquillity below.
It is written in your soul to live this kind of full life – full of vitality, joy, ease and passion. We just need to learn how to embrace and balance the masculine and feminine energies and to RECEIVE what is already waiting for us.
I’d love to support you on this journey. It’s touched my life in ways I could never imagine and I have my chronic fatigue to thank as the catalyst for my unfolding! If this touched you in some way and you’d like to know how it could apply to you send me an email at [email protected] or comment below.