A Surprising and Powerful Method for Managing Stress

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Did you know that the moon and cycles in general have a strong influence on your energy and vitality? I want to share more with you about how to use this knowledge to reduce your stress and invite ease?

Most of us are aware of the day/night cycle and the need to get enough sleep to be our best versions of ourselves, to de-stress and to heal. Perhaps you’re all too familiar with the 3pm slump of the circadian rhythm? However, the 24 hour daily cycle is only one cycle that is related to health and wellness. There is also the monthly(ish) moon cycle, women’s menstrual cycles and men’s hormone cycles (yes, men also have hormone cycles – on a daily and monthly basis!)

Do you generally feel like you’re trudging through mud or are you hitching a ride on a vehicle going in the same direction that you’re going? All of this has to do with flow and whether you’re in flow or going against it. When we work with the natural cycles flow occurs and ease and awesomeness can unfold!

Generally, those who battle with adrenal depletion tend to enforce their way onto the world. To call a spade a spade I am saying that you are probably quite controlling! This is one of the reasons why a particular personality type is more prone to stress and burnout. I know I have tended to be very controlling. In my drive to feel safe and secure and to feel I have it all under control I would drive myself 24/7. When I was not driving myself during the day I was sleeping a light, unfulfilling sleep while still full of stress and not properly surrendered. I still do go through stages like this at times but one of my major breakthroughs for healing was realising that I cannot expect the same output from myself on a constant basis.

“Dur”, you might be thinking, “that seems pretty obvious”. Yet, if you are honest with yourself how often do you allow yourself to stop, firstly, to rest and secondly, to let go to the point that you allow life to unfold without imposing what you believe is best onto life? Is it possible that you are out of touch with what your body is capable of at certain times of these cycles?

Let me explain this more specifically in terms of energy levels. When we look at women’s cycles our hormones are shifting throughout that cycle and, depending on the specific levels at specific times, your vitality is going to be impacted. In addition, your desire to be around others or to be withdrawn will also change. For me, I find that during the 1st and 4th week of my cycle I have less energy. And, of course, my mood vacillates merrily (and not so merrily!) too.

The cycle of the moon is of course intricately linked to the monthly cycle and, when not using any form of hormones for birth control, the menstrual cycle often syncs to the moon with menstruation happening at new moon and ovulation at full moon.

If there is no menstrual cycle (older or pregnant females and males) then follow the moon cycle alone. Usually, and this is the very simplified version, you will find that you have more energy from around day 7 to day 22 of the lunar cycle. Day 7 onwards is the waxing phase to full moon around day 15 and the moon begins to wane again. For some people Full Moon is a time of great energy and celebration. Others may actually feel a need to withdraw during the Full Moon.

A further impact of the Full Moon on vitality is that many people cannot sleep in the days leading up to, including, and perhaps even after the Full Moon. In my household my son and I have often share some awake time during that phase. No such effect for my husband and daughter! That sleep deprivation can, of course, add to fatigue and lack of energy.

Arming yourself with the awareness of the impact of the cycles on your natural vitality can be hugely empowering. Obviously, we cannot completely control our schedules, especially when not self-employed or with commitments that are beyond our control. However, where you can manage the schedule, try to hold back on social events or huge launches or projects during the times when your energy will naturally be lower.

I still sometimes like to consider myself superwoman and demand high output at all times (as this was my default for so long). I recently attempted to demolish a to-do list and just could not get on top of much at all. I was not focussed, things did not work out and I felt like I was swimming against the tide and time was laughing at me while slipping away with more speed than usual. This week (days 7 to 14 of the lunar cycle) I have achieved so much with lots of ease. The opportunities have presented themselves, the time has become available and there has been flow. This is the magic of honouring the cycles. There is really no point in depleting yourself and whipping your flaying energy when you in the part of the cycle in which rest and downtime are required. Further, when we surrender to flow and cycles life really does seem to present us with what we need and magic happens.

Let me add here that for many of us, like for me last week, when we are feeling overwhelmed or anxious we feel better/safer/more secure by burying ourselves in the well-known refuge of working and doing. With achievement comes a sense of being in control and we feel good about ourselves. However, this can cause us to push when our vitality is not available, resulting in greater depletion and overwhelm and a vicious cycle. It takes a lot to trust and let go when in overwhelm as the doing is a very tempting coping strategy. Yet, if you can honour your cycles you will be amazed at how much energy you harness and how much you achieve when the time is right!

For a number of reasons you may not be synced up with the moon or monthly hormone cycles in the same way as others. For one reason, Adrenal Fatigue Syndrome and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome often is caused by and is related to hormonal imbalance and, estrogen dominance in particular. Consequently, hormone cycles are out of balance. Also, many women use birth control that impact on the regular monthly hormone cycle and some men supplement with testosterone for various reasons. Finally, stress can cause the hormone cycle to change for both men and women.

Consequently, the best way to become aware of what your energy levels are doing in relation to the moon and hormonal cycles is to keep track for yourself. For women who are menstruating keep a diary noting the day of the menstrual cycle (with the first day of menstruation being day 1), the day of the lunar cycle and your corresponding energy levels. You can also track your mood and your sleep. For men and those who do not have menstrual cycles track the above minus the day of the menstrual cycle. Over the course of two months you may already start to notice a pattern and then you can start to schedule your life accordingly and harness your natural flow and vitality. Even within the first month you will start to notice the difference and start to learn to listen to your body.

So next time you are invited to attend a couple of weekend social engagements and you know that it’s likely to leave you pretty exhausted as it follows a week of heavy work commitments and it is during the New Moon phase perhaps you can reply with, “Sorry, no, that weekend happens to be at the wrong time of the lunar cycle. A week later will be perfect…”

Or maybe just a simple “no”! You may not want people to think you’re a LUNAtic!

However, as crazy as it can seem, harnessing natural cycles to leverage your energy is far from crazy and a natural, powerful phenomenon we have lost touch with. Why not give it a try….

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I used to struggle deeply with holding space for clients. I would quickly become exhausted, and it felt incredibly frustrating. The thing I loved most—supporting others—was actually burning me out. Over the years listening to what was depleting me and what was nourishing me helped but I was tired of not being able to do so many of the things I enjoyed because it was too much for me. I had to also learn to make some fundamental shifts in my identity and my nervous system to be able to turn what was depleting me into something that was nourishing me instead, and to have the capacity to hold it all. Two weeks ago I hosted my first ever 3 night retreat. I had held space for women for up to a full day but never longer than that. I was concerned that I'd be exhausted afterwards. Instead, I came away buzzing with energy that lasted for days. No crash—just a full, bursting heart and a sense of spacious ease in my nervous system. It felt like I had been the one attending the retreat, not just hosting it! Here's what has changed to make this possible: 1) I no longer try to rescue people. I used to believe I had to do the work for them. Since I was a child I felt what people felt and I took on the emotions of others (many of you will likely have experienced the same as I find most of my clients with chronic fatigue and burnout are highly sensitive individuals). I took on the protector/rescuer role from a young age. This is often an unconscious trauma adaptation. After all, if the people around us are safe then we are safe so if we can protect and rescue them them it helps them and helps us (all done unconsciously of course). My chronic fatigue and burnout taught me two crucial lessons: if I’m not okay first, I can’t truly help anyone; and that I'm safe, supported and empowered. This helped me see my clients not as people needing saving or carrying, but as amazing, empowered individuals who rather need someone to walk alongside them on the path while seeing them in the fulness of their light. Serving from this place feels completely different—lighter and more authentic. 2) I shifted my identity, as above —from victim to empowered—and also released the belief that my worth depended on how much I helped or avoided upsetting others. 3) I adopted nervous system practices that make me more resilient and less overwhelmed by life’s demands, all the sensory input and everyone's needs. My nervous system more quickly returns to a rested space where I can receive vitality and nourish myself. 4) My spiritual relationship has deepened so that I no longer hold a belief that I am self-reliant and alone but, rather, deeply connected to a bigger, unfolding matrix that nourishes, guides and protects me. 5) I keep a toolbox of tools and techniques to calm my nervous system, connect to my body, and receive spiritual support. The sacred ritual of these daily habits sets me up to feel held and at ease. I don't always get this right. I am neurodivergent with a particularly neurospicy family and life can be crazy at times. While I manage to hold space for clients from a far more rooted and regulated place it's not always the case in my home and family life! But, damn, it's so much better than it was and I feel far more empowered. I'm so grateful for that.

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