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No, Doing More & Doing Harder Is Not the Answer


Are you feeling like you have no choice but to make a change in your life?

What is your go-to way to achieve change and make it stick?

I bet most of you will include some version of “work harder” in your answer….

We’ve been taught from a young age that hard work gets results. But at what cost? Being part of the rat-race we call life these days results in exhausted heaps of people along the way who were not able to find the promised finish line.

I was one of those people. I ran the race very hard and prided myself on my determination and stamina. Then my stamina fizzled out. My body said “No more” and my determination insisted on continuing to drag itself to the so-called finish line until it, too, gave up.

At first, I resisted the enforced surrender every step of the way. As soon as I had more energy again I wasted it by joining up with the rat-race again and seeking that non-existent finishing line that would tell me I am capable, in control, good enough, I have value; and that would be my permission to finally rest.

Eventually, I had no choice but to seek a different way because I finally got it……

We cannot create change when we keep doing things the same way over and over again.

Transformation is not linear. It is cyclical and we do not need to relentlessly strive for a finishing line to gain our certification of value or sense of being OK in the world.

I discovered that cycles of transformation have the following stages: Surrender, connect, release, receive and then flow. These are now the 5 phases of my coaching programme. Sometimes we have to go backwards a bit before we can go forwards again. Sometimes we have to repeat the cycles in slightly different and deeper ways. But it’s gentle, it’s intuitive and it’s supported by the natural cycles and rhythms that are present in life. The seed has to rest in the fertile void of darkness to prepare and nourish itself before awakening and pushing up into the light to reach its fullest potential as a flower or tree. And it doesn’t run around trying to be more when it reaches that point.

When all the striving brings us to our knees we are already being called into the first phase….surrender. However, we cannot rebirth ourselves from an exhausted and disconnected place where we give our power away to everyone else. We then need to connect and come home to ourselves and our bodies to feel safe and replenished. From this rested and connected place we will feel strong enough, prepared enough to start to let go of the old ways that have not served us. We cannot let go of the old ways if we do not feel we have a safety net to catch us or if we cannot trust ourselves or life. This is why the connection phase is so very important.  From this connected place we release the old beliefs and ways of doing and we create a space for something more. Into that space we can then receive our own inner wisdom while allowing the compassion from self and support from others; and only then can we step into the natural flow, rhythm, abundance and ease that is the birth right of every human on this planet and is actually our natural way of being when we are aligned to our truth.

Does this resonate with you? Let me know in the comments


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